Weight Loss and Healthy Living

Jeremy Likness discusses victim cards, and how people use these to create their own excuses for self-sabotage. Learn how to move beyond the victim cards and have the courage to live the life you deserve.


Do you bring a special deck of cards with you everywhere you go?

You know the ones I am referring to? Most people have a special wallet made for them. They want to keep these cards safe so they can pull them out quickly, at any given instant.

The cards have words on them. They say things like ...

"I don't have time."
"I don't have money."
"My children keep me busy."
"I work a full time job."
"I go to school."

I know about these cards because I have my own special set. I call these victim cards, and they come in handy when we need excuses.

I used to use mine all of the time. They were very handy, because they entitled me to drink, smoke cigarettes, binge on food and pursue other addictive behavior. Whenever I was questioned, I could whip one out and flash it in the face of my unsuspecting assailant, then run to hide behind the rest of the deck. It's a game too many of us play.

One fateful day in the year 2000, the same year my daughter was born, I happened to meet someone who would change my life. I've met many people who have had a tremendous impact on me, but this was the first person I can recall who took the time to show me a little secret. I say "little" because I'm going to share it with you. I'm spilling the beans, so to speak, and soon this won't be a secret at all.

You see, this guy had his own little wallet full of victim cards. Some of them were more powerful than my own — he had experiences that I was unfamiliar with. But I noticed two strange things about this extraordinary individual. First, he was where he wanted to be in life ... not like me, struggling, wishing, hoping, blaming everything in the world to avoid taking responsibility for me. Nope, he was "in the journey" and enjoying it.

Second? He didn't use his victim cards.

It was this little secret that changed my life. I realized that I have the same deck of cards as everyone else. Sure, the words on the cards might be different, but we all carry that deck. I also found out that we have the same hours in each day. Can you believe it? Successful people also only have 24 hours to create their success within each day — imagine that!

When I weighed in at over 240 pounds with a 44 inch waist, I drove my wife crazy. She loved me and supported me, but she was sick and tired of having to go out of her way to find those "special sizes" that I could fit into. Thirty pounds and nine months later, I stumbled across the simple "secret" that I could keep my victim cards tucked away. I stopped making excuses. I chose to have faith in myself. And I lost another 35 pounds over the next three months.

At the end of it all, I had lost 12 inches — that's a full foot — from my waist. I became Certified as a Fitness Trainer and a Specialist in Performance Nutrition. I began coaching others. And through it all, I had the same 24 hours in each day and the same deck of cards.

I've worked with athletes and triathletes but the name I've been dubbed is "weight loss expert" because it is my vision and mission to empower others to lose weight and live healthy. I don't have a particular "diet" or special "training routine" because I've found many that work. What successful athletes have in common has nothing to do with a secret exercise, scientifically planned nutrition menu, or that magic "holy grail" supplement everybody seems to be looking for. Nope, I can sum up success with one word, and it is my goal in life to teach this to everyone I encounter: "Courage." Success takes courage. Courage is not a lack of fear, but moving on in spite of fear. It is about getting out there and getting it done, without hiding behind your deck of victim cards.

Leave the cards on the poker table. Life isn't about chance. Have the courage to live!

This article originally appeared at Beginner Triathlete: Triathlete Training for Beginners and is reprinted here with their permission.

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