| Some vacation pictures posted ... | Week 12 of 12, Day 78 of 84
... for those interested. I took over 100 pictures, but these are some highlights!
Jeremy's photo album
posted by Jeremy on 6/16/2003 8:35:49 AM | | Why I am the happiest man alive ... | Week 10 of 12, Day 67 of 84
![Children]()
My children just make me so proud!
posted by Jeremy on 6/5/2003 12:42:46 PM | | Late night ramblings ... | Week 10 of 12, Day 66 of 84
Well, tonight is my last "sane" night. I say so because tomorrow night is truly going to be insane, and then the rest is, well, history. I probably won't be posting here or stats after tomorrow morning (if I have time to do that). Tomorrow night is time to pack up for my vacation, and get ready for my business trip on Friday. I need to be up by 4:30am to head out to the airport, only an hour earlier than I'm used to but early enough! My flight is in at 9:00pm, then I turn around and head back at 7am the next day to fly out to South Dakota! There is a slight chance I might find access to the internet there, but obviously, it won't be a top priority!
Here is the game plan: Friday is scheduled to be HIIT. I'm not going to train. Sure, I could get up at 4:00am and do something then still make the day, but why? At this point, I'm not in the last stages before the crazy photo shoot and quite frankly, the calories aren't going to be worth being sore and tired when I have to be in chipper shape for the client. What works out great is that, again, my program is less based on the exact workouts I do or foods I eat, but energy balance, pure and simple. Calories in, calories out. So by not training, it will be a lower calorie day. Guess what? GREAT! Because I'm going to be in transit most of the time, and our presentation goes through lunch. So it will probably be mainly a bar day. Without buying Snickers or something along those lines, I won't be getting too any calories by munching on a few Clif Bars or even EAS bars. I'm just as concerned about under-eating as I am over-eating, so it works out well that I'm not going to be training intensely and then be unable to support myself with nutrition. What I will do is on Saturday, when I arrive in Rapid City, South Dakota, I'll go on my Saturday jog and run for 15 minutes longer than usual to add a few more calories. Because this is planned, it will all be green.
It's great to hear from everyone and see the "old crew" on board, a lot of "friends" I spoke to wayyyyy back in the day. Geneva was talking about 99. Well, I started my first BFL challenge in August of 1999. I still remember some of the posts when I was a very condescending person and thought I knew it all. Know people think I act like I know it all, but in reality I just try to share the information I have and if anything, I've learned that I'll never know it all ... if there is any important lesson, it's that I need to stay open minded and always expect to learn something knew that might change everything! I can't help but wonder who the "cynical person against sugar in post workout shakes" is ... I can't recall if I would have had such admonishments or not, probably could be, honestly can't remember. I do know many of the philosophies I had then have changed through a combination of straight learning, of exposure to people who have been in nutrition and fitness much longer than I, and through interaction with my clients.
I think the greatest thing to see is that we are all human. We all tend to slip into our comfort zones and find out they are not too comfortable after all, and return. I for one know that despite fluctuations in body fat and focus on running versus weight training or HIIT versus moderate cardio or thinking I need to eat 600 grams of protein per day versus eating more like a vegetarian now, I have been consistent about one thing: fitness and health. I might try different ratios and training regimens, but it will not be Wendy's every night and a bag of Oreos every other day ever again. That part is over.
I type this after having polished off half a carton of Praline Pecan ice cream (the soy variety). Very tasty, and only a few hundred calories ... all planned! It's the balance that really helps me. I will probably eliminate the little treats between 4 - 6 weeks out but until then, as calories permit, I will indulge in the occassional organic chocolates. And yes, I LOVE putting sugar in my post-workout shakes - a 1/2 cup of it, to be precise!
Geneva really triggered some memories for me. It was an incredible period of time when we had access to Bill Phillips himself. He was such a positive and inspiring person, and it's a shame that the online trolls who liked to hide in the anonymous shadows chose to attack him so consistently just because he was well known. It was such an inspiration to meet the former champions like Scott Nelson and Hank Johnson and I still remember the tears coming to my eyes at the inaugural WishLift event when Porter Freeman gave his stirring speech about the children. It really felt like family then ... it reminds me of high school, when we were all young and new to the world, and thought we formed these bonds of friendship that would never break, but then reality kicked in, so did different schools to attend or jobs to pursue, and suddenly we grew distant. I feel in my fitness journey this has happened ... and I often wonder if it is because I have simply evolved myself (so much has happened, with running a business, moving to a new job, really trying my hardest to focus on my family, and above all, beginning a new life in Christ) or if the community really has grown apart. I guess maybe it might be my "fault" because I haven't been to any events lately ... that is where I really felt the bonds. I was at three lifting (charity) events and each one just made my resolve that this is the right way to live grow stronger, and I met so many amazing people. It is just incredible to me that my earlier inspirations and on-line friends are now coming here, back to this "field of dreams" Zach has built through blog ... it really means a lot to me to see everyone here.
I guess I'm saying I can't wait until we can all meet together again as a group and really share our energy and feed off each other's motivation. Maybe it's time to coordinate another charity event or find some cause worth fighting for, to draw people together for a positive change. Shane posted some very deep, heartfelt thoughts and they strike home with me. Computers and fitness, that's where it's at for me. Owning a gym - yes, the ultimate dream. To train clients all day, train myself, in my own gym, that is my dream. Truly is.
It is amazing that I am where I'm at. I was really struggling working as a devleopment manager producing software that really benefitted no one but large corporations. My business, Peak Physiques, is one of the greatest accomplishments I can claim since I found fitness, it truly was an amazing experience, my clients were the most tremendous, amazing, positive, uplifting people and despite posing as a trainer, they were the ones that truly taught me many lessons. It just became too much with the long work weeks in the main job, and the focus that was unbalanced at the time on training. Somehow, God blessed me with the opportunity to combine the two passions, fitness and programming, in my current job, where I can speak Spanish, write software, mingle with nutrition experts and help people find health and fitness, all wrapped in one. Pretty cool, huh? But it will never replace the joy of working with someone in person and taking them through a workout and watching the progress and seeing the triump as they transform. So that is the goal, always will be. And it's not a question of if I will run a business again, it's when. I am not going to take my family on a wild ride of "will I be getting a paycheck soon?" etc, so I am going to bide my time and thank the Lord for His rich blessings, and wait, knowing that when the time is right, I will be able to make a move and start the business I have a passion to create. In good time, it will happen.
Okay I'm really rambling now, even for me. Thank you for causing me to think. Geneva, now you really have me curious .. I probably spoke with you 4 years back but can't for the life of me recall what nickanme you might have been using --- have we spoken before? Heather, Marie, Zach, and the rest of you who have been there so long ... what a large family we have become! It will be great to have a family reunion .... even just seeing Zach a few times over the past month has recharged my battery! You are a great group of people.
When I lost my close friend, Brian, who was my best man and let my wife and me be married at his beautiful home, I felt very lost. Even recently, before I started this program, I had a long, deep conversation with my wife. She is my best, closest friend. But I was complaining because I felt something missing - a friend outside of our marriage. Not because I have secrets to take outside of our special bond, but because I want someone to talk to about HER ... I have so much love in this family, and it would be great sometimes to step outside of these four walls and share it. I'm not going to lie, while this online community is a great place to share and motivate, it is still text and computer bits. You are real people, but let's face it - this "interface" makes it difficult to convey emotion and passion, we are limited by our ability to express ourselves and emote through words and symbols. But I can say this ... when I look back, the key point in my life was when I lost my dear friend but gained my daughter ... since then, I might not have been close to someone like I had been with Brian, but instead of having one strong, close friend, instead I have been blessed with many passionate, kind, caring people. I might not have revealed my life to Zach, but I know we connect and have a great time when we're together, and we can truly share our passions in life. I might have only had the opportunity to hug Marie a few times, but she has been a steady light in my life. I might have never met Shane but I sure feel his ups and downs and wait with so much anticipation to watch him break through and truly conquer his goals. So I guess, before I head back and confront my past - a grandmother I haven't seen in 10 years who is going to talk about my father who I haven't seen in 25 years, cousins that were in grade school when I last saw them who are now married with children, and places that I hid myself in during my dark college years when I was the darkest, most cynical, bitter, and self-hating person I've ever been .... before I make that journey and confront it, smiling, with my loving family by my side and Christ burning bright in my heart, I just want to take the time to thank YOU ALL for being here.
It may seem silly, just an online community, but this is the feeling I felt in August of 1999 that has kept me here so long, and I believe it is a true feeling. What you have in common is you live by giving. It might be time, effort, motivation, inspiration, teaching, love, charity, or any number of things, but what binds you all together is a spirit of giving. And maybe you are just as giving in real life, or maybe the computer allows you to express yourself in a new, unique way that lets you break through to new levels, but the end result is something spectacular. Pay it forward was a great movie, and this seems to be such a close concept. So when you feel like there is something a little more than just numbers, letters, and pictures on the screen, when that extra "umpf" comes out of a post, or you feel a little bit more human, or a little more excited, or nod and say, "Yeah, I've been there, too", please don't shake it off and push it aside. It's tangible, it's real .. it's part of this community. Savor it, grow it, spread it. Maybe I can't change the world one single bit, but I know through the efforts of all of us here, we can. Even if one person is inspired to make a positive change, that's something to hold onto ... but I'll warrant this crowd has impacted more than just a single person.
God bless,
Jeremy
posted by Jeremy on 6/4/2003 10:49:12 PM | | Heather, Shane ... | Week 10 of 12, Day 66 of 84 cont...
HEATHER!!!!!! Glad to see ya here!!!!!!!! Hope all is well, can't wait to hear more updates from you ... long time, no chat!
Shane ... you and your family are all in my prayers!
God bless,
Jeremy
posted by Jeremy on 6/4/2003 12:07:03 PM | | Geneva! | Week 10 of 12, Day 65 of 84
First, shout outs to everyone. Sorry about not having more personal shout outs, I really and truly do read all of your posts, but after working 10 - 12 hours on a computer, it's really tough to get back on one at home ... but I did read a post that caught my eye and wanted to respond. Before I do, just want to thank Leann and Alex for checking in, I missed ya girls, thank Marie for continuing to take care of her "children", Zach for being the inspiration he is as he hurtles towards competition, Emma for being that ball of energy, Kristi for her consistency, Miz Jander for her energy, Linda for her uplifting quotes, Cory for posting his inspiration to share that inspiration with us, Pete for keeping us in the high intensity zone, Buzz for helping to bring out the best animated feature I've seen (and my daughter LOVED it) and really just the rest of you ... please don't feel offended if your name isn't here, there are so many of you and I'm really not great with names, but I can't think of a single blog on here that doesn't captivate me and teach me something every day.
Geneva, just wanted to tell you ... yes, you are right, you ARE doing something in your mind to yourself. I remember when I first saw your picture ... in my opinion, you're a knockout - I think you have a great body no matter how blurry you think the web cam is, I know a lot of men who would be jealous of those biceps. You are right - you are very healthy now, judging by your nutrition, and apparently fit as well .... SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?!?!?! Ya gotta love yourself, hon, and I don't mean that to refer to ego or narcisism (sp?) .... I mean that physically, you have it going on, so your struggles must be in your mind. What is it you're missing? Why do you want to play those mind games? What is your ultimate goal? Many women would fight long and hard to reach the level you are at, I know some who have struggled consistently for nearly half a decade to reach that point, and you're there. You can continue to enjoy life at that level of fitness and health, or decide to take it to the next level and really lean out to figure competition or even bodybuilding levels of leanness and sculpted physique - and you could probably reach either goal within 12 weeks, easily. So the question is - why are you focusing on creating "flaws" for yourself?
Trust me, I've played those mind games myself. When I go on a bulking phase to gain muscle, all I can see is the fat building around my waist and spilling over my belt when I get dressed. When I lean down, suddenly I feel as if I'm losing muscle by the pound and getting too skinny and emaciated. But what I've found in 4 years of doing this is that if I focus on just being happy and confident, and enjoying the journey - the nutrition, the training - then the destination becomes less important (yet easier to accomplish) and the mind games go away. The mind game likes to have that goal it can steer you from - but when you eliminate that goal, when you're program is about today and tomorrow and not some ideal weeks down the road, when your "up" moments are about gritting your teeth and pushing that weight or breaking a new cardio record rather than worrying about the scale moving or some body fat number to change, then where can your mind play games?
One of the reasons I feel so confident about this challenge is because I don't have the pressure of having to complete it. Let me clarify that - I will do everything in my power to finish it. But I've learned from mistakes in the past that if something comes up, it's not going to make or break me. I did the ULTIMATE in putting on the brakes - I went out and told the WORLD I was going to compete in a bodybuilding competition, got all loaded up and then .... stopped. No injury, no earth-shattering event to stop me, just ... contemplation. I had to go to a place and humble myself and make myself realize it's really okay ... I'm doing this for me and NOT the world, so it doesn't matter if I stop and choose to become a marathon runner and lose all of my muscle or go on an extended juice fast and just pray for several months. And boy, was that an awakening! So now I'm going full tilt. But if an emergency comes up, I'll deal with it. If my workouts cut into time with my daughter, guess what, I'll leave the weights on the rack and play with her instead. If I decide I want to enjoy a meal with my grandparents without having to worry about every calorie on the plate, I'll do it. And it's just that freedom that drives me to success --- see, before I was confident, there would be excuses associated with guilt that would derail me. Then, even while I was successful, it was always under the fear of sabotaging myself. Now that the fear is gone, however, this journey is fun and exciting. Sure, I can still squeeze an AWFUL lot of fat on my midsection, can't really see the abs the way I want to, but heck, when I get down there and train, I have FUN.
So ... I guess I'm just saying ... if you need an outside opinion, you look terrific. You appear to be in shape. It sounds like you eat healthy. So the rest of it is just there, in your mind. So it's really just about choices now, isn't it? You can CHOOSE to be happy and move on, or CHOOSE to get down on yourself ... but personally, I really don't think you deserve to be so negative. Go a little easier on yourself, and stop creating your own flaws - focus on the positive! And great work with those arms!
Sorry, this was kind of a rant but I really was amazed to see how rough you were being on yourself, when I've always been intrigued by your blogs ... it's always, wow, there's that picture of that really fit woman again ... and then to see the double-chin and saddlebag references, the two just don't seem to go together!
Peace,
Jeremy
posted by Jeremy on 6/3/2003 9:57:16 PM |
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